The One You Reach For First
by thesoundofsunshine
Summary: "Mhmp... stop," Kurt commanded, pulling his face away from Blaine's, which was instantly twisting into a confused expression.


**I've actually had this drabble idea for a while, but I just got around to writing it. It was written from a short list of points that I wanted to hit with this, so it's not as raw as I was hoping. Oh well. I'm just working with what I can.**

**Note: The title is from Sugarland's Fall Into Me, which has no relevance to the oneshot, except for the wonderful line for the title.**

**One last thing, I've been bombarded with the real world lately. I had Memorial Day weekend, Prom and Prom Weekend, final projects, actual finals, and now I'm embarking on the endless graduation rehearsals and finally Graduation. Ah! I've barely had time for me... let alone to deal with the madness of this site. But, fear not, I have not died. And, Shu, I will get back to your message as soon as possible. I feel horrible because it's been like a month, but I have not been ignoring your on purpose.**

**Oh! On the plus side, I'm going to Glee Live tomorrow night. Squee! Okay. I'm done babbling now. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. I just play with the characters.**

* * *

><p>"Mhmp... stop," Kurt commanded, pulling his face away from Blaine's, which was instantly twisting into a confused expression.<p>

They had said those three magical words in the most casual way. If anything, it should have made things like this come easier. But, it seemed to be working in the opposite way. It wasn't as if things suddenly heated up overnight; it was gradual progress. But, it finally got to the point where Kurt halted all of the progress.

Blaine stopped toying with Kurt's hem, before leaning back on his elbows, trying to figure out why Kurt had pulled out the word that nobody wants to hear while making out. Kurt averted his eyes from Blaine's searching ones.

"What's wrong?" Blaine finally mustered up the courage to ask, making Kurt's scared blue eyes lock onto his own.

"I just..." Kurt sputtered, giving no real reasoning as to why he stopped the makeout session.

Blaine's hand made another valient attempt for Kurt's shirt, only to get swatted away. And, it wasn't a playful swat, it was serious.

"Don't," Kurt said, keeping his voice dangerously low, as Blaine recoiled his hand back.

It just didn't make sense in Blaine's mind because Kurt had gotten him out of his shirt before, but he couldn't even get his hand against Kurt's bare lower back. But, this was not about to turn into a relationship like that, so Blaine kept his thoughts to himself.

Instead, Blaine opted to test the waters. He rest his hand on Kurt's hip over the smooth material of his shirt, which didn't make Kurt flinch or swat. Blaine smiled, before inching his fingers under the hem, which resulted in him getting pushed away with a hard glance. It was clear that he wasn't getting under Kurt's shirt today, not that he ever had before.

"So, over is fine, but under is a no no?" Blaine tried to clarify, not wanting to push Kurt into anything that he wasn't ready for.

"It's just..." Kurt sputtered the same line, getting stuck at the same place again.

Blaine shifted his weight to his other elbow to be closer to Kurt.

"It's what?" Blaine asked, his eyes pleading with Kurt to trust him enough to tell him.

"I just have a lot of scars on my back from locker checks and dumpster tosses..." Kurt said, drifting off in a way that meant he wasn't done with the explanation. Blaine tangled their fingers together, mentally begging Kurt to continue, while giving him the love he deserved back then.

"What else?" Blaine asked, keeping his voice light as to not scare Kurt away.

"I have scars on my hips," Kurt confessed, biting his lip and ducking his head, before looking back up moments later at Blaine's confused expression, "From self-hatred."

"Kurt," Blaine just about whined, pulling the shaken boy into his arms.

"And, I have an ugly healing yellow bruise to top it off," Kurt said, his voice wavering as he spoke.

Blaine leaned his head down, kissing the top of Kurt's head, as Kurt nuzzled his head into Blaine's comforting chest.

"You're still beautiful," Blaine honestly said, only to hear Kurt scoff in rebuttal, "You know that, right?"

"You're just saying that," Kurt miserably muttered, still wallowing in his own self-pity.

Blaine didn't say anything in return as he maneuvered his hand under Kurt's shirt in a loving, not heated way. Kurt swallowed thickly as Blaine continued to push Kurt's shirt up, his hand sliding against the smooth skin of Kurt's toned stomach.

"See, these," Blaine said, gesturing to the slightly visible scars peeking out from the waistband of his jeans, "are signs that you survived because you're stronger than the bullies."

Kurt bit back a slight smile, as Blaine gently rolled Kurt onto his stomach. Blaine ran his hand the length of Kurt's spine as goosebumps raised themselves on the pale skin he traced. Blaine used his index finger to ghost over the scars that were scattered on Kurt's back, before kissing the healing yellow bruise in the middle of Kurt's back.

"You didn't deserve this," Blaine said, his lips hovering centimeters over the most prominent scar on Kurt's right shoulder blade.

"How do you always know the perfect things to say?" Kurt asked, a giggle added to his voice, as Blaine laid down next to Kurt on his stomach.

"I don't. It's all an illusion," Blaine goofily said, making Kurt laugh, which was monumental progress from his pity party.

Kurt twined their fingers together, before rolling onto his side, and taking Blaine hand to touch a jagged scar on his hip that disappeared down his skinny jeans.

"This one," Kurt said, running Blaine's hand the length of the scar, that continued three inches down his skinny jeans along the outside of his thigh, "was the last time I hurt myself."

Kurt swallowed back the last bit of cowardice in him as a faint smile graced Blaine's face.

"It was the day before I met you," Kurt confessed, his cheeks tingeing pink, "I promised to myself that I wouldn't hurt myself after I met you."

"I love you," Blaine breathed, at a loss for all real words, just blurting out what was on his mind in the moment.

Kurt flushed, a smile spreading across his face at a rapid pace, "I love you, too."

* * *

><p><strong>So, did you like it? I'm so nervous because I haven't updated in so long. Ah! Reviews are always nice.<strong>


End file.
